Description
Title: The Polite Goblin: Lessons in Being Polite-ish and the Art of Not Getting Thrown in the Moat
Author: Professor S. T. Punk (or Someone Wearing a Goblin Hat)
Format: Paperback / Digital
Product Description:
Goblins: chaotic, clever, and occasionally combustible. The Polite Goblin is the mostly-serious, mostly-hilarious manual for surviving goblin society without losing your eyebrows, dignity, or furniture. Whether you’re a goblin striving for a touch of civility—or a human unfortunate enough to live near one—this book is your essential guide to polite-ish behavior, explosive etiquette, and the fine art of avoiding moat-based ejections.
Inside, you’ll discover how to:
Use forks without injuring friends (or yourself).
Dress appropriately—sometimes even optional clothing counts.
Greet neighbors without accidental bites.
Argue, party, and romance without unintentionally setting things on fire.
Navigate goblin customs, dances, and social grunts with style and minimal chaos.
Packed with practical advice, tongue-in-cheek rules, and a foreword by “Someone Who May or May Not Be Professor S. T. Punk in a Goblin Disguise,” this guide also includes:
The Goblin Grunt Guide for polite-ish communication.
Sample apology letters written in crayon.
Step-by-step guidance on traditional goblin dances for non-combative occasions.
Clever tips for gifts, threats, and “etiquette contraptions.”
Whether you are a goblin seeking social upgrades or a human just trying to survive a dinner invitation, The Polite Goblin will teach you how to act just enough like a civilized creature to avoid disaster—most of the time.
Features:
Foreword by a goblin expert in disguise.
Nine chapters of practical, humorous goblin etiquette.
Appendices full of gestures, grunts, and emergency advice.
Perfect for fantasy fans, humor enthusiasts, tabletop RPG players, or anyone who enjoys mischievous monsters behaving (a little) better.
Page Count: 32
Audience: Fantasy lovers, humor readers, and anyone who appreciates polite-ish monsters.
